Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Did another parent ever tell you something about your child that you didn’t know?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I actually pay taxes

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

In what ways is modern day Russia similar to the USSR? How does it differ from the USSR in terms of culture and politics?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know who the president of Turkey really is

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Were you ever in love with your teacher?

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

How can I help my cat adjust to sleeping in its own room after allowing it to sleep with us as a kitten?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I can count

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

My husband asked me why do I keep on complaining about him cheating. Why don't I just leave?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Was Jimmy Carter a good President of the United States?

I don’t cotton to rapists

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

What are the pros and cons of living in Male, Maldives?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand how hurricane paths work

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

What was the first Native American tribe to inhabit Long Island, NY?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

How is cultural invasion being carried out by Bollywood?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What are your thoughts on a Russian poetry prize banning entries from transgender people? Why is Russia so transphobic?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for fakery

What does "feeling like your life is over" mean and why is it not in any dictionary online?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I see through liars

Are you offended if Democrats call Republicans "weird"?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Why are black people seen as scary or a threat to some people?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

What was your best unexpected reunion with your childhood best friend?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I can read

What is the best way to keep my vagina clean and fresh?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have a reading level above third grade

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms